


Punctured

by brokenhighways



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Drama, Established Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 23:03:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11323563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: An argument and a punctured tire makes Zero break down when he thinks that Jude has left him.





	Punctured

**Author's Note:**

> My summary may or may not be slightly misleading/taken directly from [this prompt](http://team-zude.dreamwidth.org/26133.html?thread=10261#cmt10261) on the comment!fic fest. One of these days I'm going to have to write something fun, but in the meantime, have nine (seriously, _nine)_ thousand words of angst!
> 
> Many thanks to psychmerlin for reading this through!

~

It always starts off with something small. A misplaced item, or some kind of mess that isn't cleaned up .5 seconds after it's created. Usually, Jude stresses about it, complains with varying degrees of intensity, and Zero swoops in and adds some calmness to the proceedings. 

The point is that they're not perfect, they argue just like every other couple. 

However, lately it feels like everything is a battle. From the state of Zero's public image to why the team lost their last game; lines are becoming blurred and Zero’s laidback persona has been checked out for some time now. He snaps back, doesn't bother to talk Jude through whatever unnecessary crisis he's battling with. It's coming up to crunch time for the Devils, and he doesn't need this shit. 

Jude, on the other hand, is too entrenched in being EVP to give a damn about anything but networking and appearances. Everything's about pleasing faceless suits and Zero can't have a normal conversation with him without it going back to the team. It's an uncomfortable realisation to have; that the team is the glue holding them together. Sure, he loves Jude and Jude loves him but without the team what do they really have? Zero can never figure out the answer to that question. 

The only solution that comes to mind is doing what he has always done when everything gets too much. 

Run. 

He doesn't _want_ to run _,_ though, hence why he's still here, waiting around for Jude to arrive so that they can _talk._ The word alone feels like lead, a heavy weight that's unavoidable. Zero isn't fond of heartfelt discussions about feelings but he's aware that it's a necessary evil. If they don't talk about the impending cloud between them, it's going to burst and leave them drenched in mistakes that could have been avoided. 

It's late, almost eleven, and Zero can't shake the feeling that he's forgotten something. He makes himself a sandwich and he's running through plays when it finally hits him; he was supposed to meet Jude and some business associate for drinks at the Playground. He fishes out his phone to see one missed call and a text that says, ' _ where are you _ ?’ Zero's all for showing up and smiling when Jude needs him to, but he would have been terrible company tonight anyway. Right now he's too focused on how to ensure that they win their next game  _ convincingly _ , not with a last minute shot or overtime. 

He tells himself that Jude won't mind, and only revises that opinion when the front door slams harder than necessary. Call Zero some kind of messed up Susie Homemaker but he's got the door patterns down. There's the standard quiet  _ snick _ , the resounding  _ thud _ and the full body  _ slam _ . The slam means that Jude's upset. So he sits there and waits for Jude to come to him because he's been here, done that and lost his favourite t-shirt during the last argument that they had (although, that happened during the making up part, so maybe it doesn't count). 

By the time Jude's dropped his keys and made his way into the kitchen, Zero's drumming his fingers on the counter nervously. It's not that he's afraid or anything messed up like that, it's that he  _ hates  _ arguing. It always takes him back to those dark days when his foster parents would go at it and his natural instinct is always to run. That's hard to do when you're in a committed relationship, a fact that he's learning the hard way. 

“Hey,” he calls easily, slowly appraising Jude whose lips are pressed together and eyes narrowed. 

_ Here we go, _ Zero thinks.

“What happened with you tonight?” Jude asks, his tone all casual and light. 

Zero would rather Jude just come out with it and  _ yell _ but he never does. Somehow the quiet reproach gets under his skin, burrows through his outer resistance and makes  _ him  _ want to scream. This is usually the part where he begins to get annoyed. 

Zero shrugs, letting the plays fall to the table. It's not like he's going to study them anymore tonight. “I got caught up with my workout. Lost track of time.”

In a way, maybe Zero deliberately bailed on this meeting. If he's honest with himself, the business side of the team bores him to tears. With his own dealings, all he cares about is how many zeros are after the first comma. Beyond that it's up to his people to make sure he's on the right track. He's more focused on what's happening on court this season. 

“I should have called,” he adds with an easy shrug when Jude just looks at him silently, “Sorry.”

It's the half-hearted apology that takes Jude from being pissed off to downright angry. His face darkens, eyes narrowing as his mouth tightens. 

Zero berates himself for not being more convincing, but it's late. He's crabby, tired and not responsible for anything he does or says.

The kitchen is dark save for the dim light over the refrigerator and Zero starts to feel a little uncomfortable. The sound of an engine revs outside and he waits for it to die down before he tries to salvage the conversation. 

“Look, I know that it was important but I completely forgot,” he continues with the hopes that he's not digging himself into a hole. “It's been a busy day.”

Jude rolls his eyes at that, before he strips out of his jacket and folds it over the back of one of the chairs. 

It's a shitty excuse, and one that Zero has been making a lot in recent times. Each time he vows to come up with something better, but somehow  _ busy  _ always fits. Always slips out easily before he can think of something else. 

“This time you were busy,” Jude says slowly. “Last time it was that something else came up. Before that you got a  _ better offer _ .”

That last one was a lie Zero told because he was running out of excuses to decline meetings and tired of the constant back and forth. It isn't that he's not interested in promoting the team, or being the face that everyone sees. He'd just rather stick to the official channels. None of these late dinners or meetings, or whatever. Not when there are people who've ended up  _ dead _ . 

Oscar might be gone, but these are the same people who did business with him for twenty years. The last thing Zero wants is to end up desperately chasing after an alibi. Jude might aspire to be top dog, but there's got to be better ways to get there than the constant schmoozing. If Jude hasn't learned from their past mistakes, Zero certainly has. 

That he managed to make it through the past situation relatively unscathed isn't a sign that they should keep doing what they did, it's a sign that they need to do better. 

_ Be  _ better. 

“What can I say? Time waits for no man,” Zero replies with another shrug. It's his de facto protective mode, the dismissive body language, the talking in meaningless soundbites; he can't help it. 

Jude remains unimpressed, his brow furrowing even further as he puts his hands on his hips. 

“You practise for what? Two hours a day if that. Working out is done after an hour. You don't take meetings that last longer than forty five minutes. What exactly is it that you're so busy doing?”

It's a fair question, and one that Zero can't answer honestly if he wants to win this argument. He laughs to himself, shaking his head as he grabs his discarded bottle of water and unscrews the lid.

“Just so we're clear are you talking to me as my boss, or as something else? 'Cause if it's the former, it's going to have to wait 'til morning. I don't do business when I'm off the clock.” 

He takes a swig just as Jude's scoffing in disbelief and taking a step closer to where Zero's seated. 

“So, after everything we went through to get to the top of the team, you just can't be bothered?” Jude demands to know. “I have Jelena on my case day in day out. I've covered for you more times than I can count. You have to make your mind up, Zero. Either you want this or you don't.”

Jude's right. Zero knows better than anybody that one day is all it takes for the rug to be pulled out from underneath. One day is all it takes to go from comfort to cold, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't need to take a breather every now and then. What's the point of being at the top of he can't  _ enjoy  _ it? 

“I don't need your help,” he hears himself snapping. He rolls his neck back and scratches at his chin as he tries to regain his composure. “Don't act like you're doing all of this for me, or like you didn't have your own endgame. You're mad because my no-show makes  _ you  _ look bad.”

Judging by Jude's surprised expression, he's not aware of how obvious he is. Jude's always overthinking, always assessing his own performance. While it's endearing at times, it's incredibly frustrating - especially when he drags Zero into the mix.

“Even if that's true, I'm always putting you first, always trying to help,” Jude answers frostily. “I'm sorry that's such a bad thing. I'm sorry that you're so selfish that you don't care about how you actions affect  _ me. _ ”

Jude punctuates his words with an accusing finger that serves to irritate Zero even more. 

Zero shakes his head angrily, and leans backward. “You're not going to guilt trip me into showing up to meetings that I don't want to be at.”

He stands up noisily, not even caring when the chair legs scrape against the tiles. This is far from what he had in mind when he was sitting here waiting so that they could  _ talk _ . He can admit that he's screwed up but Jude's definitely crossed a line at this point. 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn't,” Jude retorts. His face is blank, but Zero can see the anger in his eyes as plain as day. 

This is the moment where Zero could be frank and admit that he needs some respite from the networking and business meetings. However, he's not about to concede that he's weak, or that he can't handle the pressure. Call it pigheadedness, but there are some things he'd rather keep to himself. Especially if Jude thinks that he's some kind of jackass that's only interested in himself. 

Screw that. 

“You know what, I have a simple solution to our problem. How about some professional boundaries. You focus on being EVP and I'll focus on my career.”

Jude looks like he has so many things to respond with that he can't say  _ any _ of them. His mouth twists bitterly for a few seconds before he grabs his jacket brutishly, and says, “ _ Fine _ ,” through gritted teeth before he turns on his heel and storms out of the kitchen. 

The front door slams for the second time within twenty minutes.

~

Jude doesn't reappear at the house over the next three days. On day one, Zero's still angry and resilient, not caring that Jude's nowhere to be seen. By the second, he's feeling remorseful, finally giving in and sending a text, both to Jude  _ and  _ Lionel. Lionel responds with a crude emoji, so Zero assumes that Jude's been staying with her. On the third day, which also happens to be game night, he finally admits to himself that he  _ misses  _ Jude. 

The way he always reassures Zero that it's going to be a good game, even in the face of Zero's cocky bravado and unwillingness to believe that any game will be bad when he's in the court. The way he's always worrying about some stupid thing that renders itself useless soon after. The way he always knows the right thing to say.

He misses all of that but he has no idea how to say it. Words have never been his strong suit, and shrugs and suggestive glances don't quite cut it. 

Bizarrely enough, he and Jude put on a good enough show at the arena during a photocall for some award that the team's receiving. Zero should probably know all about it, but his head hasn't been in the game over the last few weeks. It's sad that the only reason Jude is acknowledging him now is because they're still the team's 'star couple’, meaning that they're wheeled out like some sort of shiny prize every week.  Luckily, Jude and Jelena answer whatever questions asked and they're able to get on with the game. 

The Devils just manage to edge it 107-103, and Jude's there to give him a customary shoulder pat on court once the ref blows the final whistle. Despite the fake smiles and playing up for the cameras, Jude doesn't say a word until they're heading through the tunnel, and that's only after Zero asks, “Are you done giving me the silent treatment?”

They grind to a halt, with a couple of the other Devils players passing them by after exchanging silent nods with Zero. Music is still blasting in the arena, but it's faint somehow, a distant hum in the background, drowned out by the roar of Zero's heart thumping in his chest.

“I'm not giving you the silent anything,” Jude says blankly. He finally looks at Zero before adding, “Great game by the way.”

Zero rolls his eyes because he's not interest in trading anymore verbal blows with Jude, but he's not going to stand here and listen to this either. It was a terrible game for him, and from the way Jude's head bows down immediately after, he knows that remark was a step too far. Although, maybe Zero deserves it. Skipping meetings is one thing if he's in the form of his life, but right now he  _ sucks _ . 

“When are you coming back to the house?” Zero asks instead. It's one more thing he'll never admit to. Sudden change always equals instability for him, and that always makes him act impulsively, always fucks him up in more ways than he'll ever admit. 

“I'm not,” Jude says bluntly. “You wanted some space and now you've got it.”

With that he walks away, his shoes clicking on the linoleum with each step. 

~

Jelena comes to see Zero an hour after the game ends. Or rather, she's waiting by the locker room with an unimpressed look on her face and her arms crossed tightly across her chest. 

“What do you want?” he asks gruffly when he exits the locker room with his bag slung over his shoulder. 

They are never going to be on good terms, but so far they've avoided any major conflict by keeping out of each other’s way. 

Zero doesn't see why that needs to change. 

Jelena rolls her eyes disdainfully. “Don't flatter yourself, Zero. I'm only here to ask you what's going on with Jude. While I'm glad that he's taking his job seriously, I don't appreciate being interrupted during my House of Cards marathon at two in the morning to go through a proposal that I've already approved.”

Zero snorts; only Jelena would have a problem with someone doing their job well. 

“What can I say, he's a perfectionist?” he replies, because he's not going to divulge their personal business to her. He's not stupid, he was with Jelena long enough to know that she files away each morsel of information she gets and hangs onto it long enough to inflict whatever damage she sees fit. 

Jelena arches an eyebrow at his words. “If Jude's a perfectionist, I guess that makes you the exception.”

Zero grins heartily, just because he knows it'll rile her up. The truth is that she's probably right. In a world where Jude strives to be the best, Zero's the messy complicated part screwing it all up. Even so, he's not about to get into it with  _ Jelena  _ of all people. 

“Look, if you have an issue with Jude, you should take it up with him.”

“I did,” Jelena informs him. “And that's when I realised that something is off between you and him. And I'm guessing that it's your fault, so I'm here to tell you to fix it.”

Before Zero can respond, the locker door opens and a couple of the other players stream out, exchanging back slaps and handshakes with Zero and wary smiles with Jelena. They wait for the noise of the chatter to die down before they turn back to each other. 

“Jude and me are fine, so, like I said, if you've got a problem with Jude, you have to take it up with him,” Zero says. “I'm sure he's around here somewhere.”

Jelena eyes him darkly. “If there's no problem, then by all means, lead the way.”

Zero tenses instantly, before he tries to relax, but he can see Jelena cataloguing each movement. It's not that he doesn't want to talk to Jude, it's that he has nothing to say. Not  _ nothing  _ nothing, but the grand apology Jude obviously needs gets stuck in his throat every time he sees him. It was a stupid argument that they should have been over within a day, and he's not sure why it's still hanging above them. 

“You can do what you want,” Zero replies tersely, “I'm going home.”

~

Zero ends up bypassing the house and he just drives as far as he can, gets lost in the way everything blurs past him. He receives a couple of texts enquiring about whether he's coming to the after party, but he ignores them. He's not really sure where he's going and his mind remains blissfully blank until he drives over something and his car vibrates beneath him angrily. Thankfully, he's still in a residential area, so he manages to pull over and gets out to examine the damage. 

It's a punctured tire. 

It's not the end of the world, but it makes him feel like he's teetering on the edge of something sharp. The tire deflates rapidly and takes Zero along with it if the sinking feeling in his chest is anything to go by. He leans against the passenger side and exhales deeply. He's not about to lose it over a fucking tire. All he has to do is call a repair truck to fix him up with a new one.

Or he can call Jude. 

Jude doesn't answer the first three times Zero calls, and all texts go unanswered too. He assumes that Jude's at the party too so he calls Lionel, who tends to turn up at these things even if she's not invited. 

“What?” she answers brazenly, not even bothering to pretend that she's happy to hear from him. They're not enemies, but they're not close either. Jude's probably told her all about their fight, and obviously she's on his side. She always is.

“Is Jude there?” he asks. The music in the background is loud and he's very glad that he skipped the party. He's starting to get a tension headache from all of the over thinking. 

Lionel says something, but it's unclear and distorted, probably due to the loud music in the background. There's some static movement on the line before she adds, “Why? He doesn't want to speak to you.”

Zero closes his eyes briefly and replies, “Well this is important, okay. So if you could just get him and--”

“And what, Zero? You'll upset him some more? I heard about your little argument.”

Zero rolls his eyes,  _ of course she did.  _

“Look, I need his help. My car--”

Lionel interrupts again before he can finish. “Save whatever sob story you have for another time. I've got a party to enjoy.”

The line goes dead before Zero can utter another word. He shakes his head bitterly and walks around to the driver's side and gets back into his car. It's easy to file this under  _ reasons why he never relies on anyone -  _ people always find ways to let other people down. 

If he's being honest, though, he likes the domesticity that he has with Jude. He likes having someone to bounce ideas off, someone to confide in, someone who's  _ there _ . The old Zero, the one who swears that he doesn't need help from anybody, might creep in from to time, but that's not who Zero wants to be. 

Not anymore. 

He also doesn't want to be stuck here any longer so he goes back to his contacts list and dials a different number. 

~

“Thanks for this,” Zero says stiffly as Jelena wipes her hands on a paper towel. Surprisingly enough, not only did she answer his call, but she managed to find a spare tire, drive over here  _ and  _ fit it for him. “Although, I could have replaced the tire myself.”

He leaves out the part where he usually calls Triple A because he's scared he'll have a freak accident and fuck up his hands. 

“It was quicker for me to just do it myself,” she replies. They share an awkward look and Zero breaks eye contact to check his phone for a lack of something else to do. There's still nothing from Jude, and he tries not to show any disappointment on his face. The last thing he needs is to give Jelena any more ammunition.

He can feel her steely glare on him, so he's not surprised when she says, “You know, I'd say something about you learning that being Captain isn't a cakewalk, but I think you get it.”

Her words surprise him because he wasn't expecting her to stick around any longer than necessary. Not with all of the very public history they have with each other. 

Thankfully, the street they're on is mostly deserted. He doesn't think being papped with Jelena would help matters much. 

Zero eyes her warily. “What would you know about it? Being a Devil girl and a player are two different things.”

“Terrence,” Jelena replies without missing beat, “Remember him?”

Zero bites back a snort; it's hard to forget Terrence and the brutal way Jelena eviscerated him when after becoming team owner. 

Terrence plays in New York these days, although, maybe that's overstating it because he's nowhere near the starters bench. If anything, he's a walking, talking advertisement for what Zero doesn't want to be. Jaded, washed up and desperately clinging to a sport that's already chewed him up and has long been ready to spit him out. 

Zero narrows his eyes and puts a hand on his chin in mock concentration. “Oh, yeah. The guy that you screwed over.”

Predictably, Jelena doesn't bat an eyelid at that. Zero would wonder how it is that she got so cold, but he doesn't care. She's not his problem anymore. 

“Like I was saying, being Captain isn't as easy as it looks, but neither is dating one,” Jelena says. “So, all of the stuff you don't see - the lobbying, the putting a good word in, the hours spent talking to a bunch of imbecilic men who unfortunately have most of the power in the world. None of that is worth if you can't trust the person you're breaking your back for.”

“Lobbying? Really? This is basketball not Congress,” Zero retorts, even as there's a small voice in his head saying that she's probably right. 

“Politics is everywhere, Zero,” she says with a strained smile. “You know that better than anybody.”

Jelena’s keys jangle in her hands as she makes her way over to her own car. She's dressed in a hoodie, baggy jeans and sneakers, which is the most casual he's seen her. It also means that she wasn't at the party, which is unusual. Oscar was usually the first first and  _ last  _ person to leave the post-game party, forever schmoozing and sucking money out of anything that could be bled dry. Zero expects Jelena to be the same way if not worse. 

“Why weren't you at the Playground?” he ask her just as she opens the driver's door. “

“Oh, I was,” she says. “But one of the things they don't tell you about being an owner is that players are  _ needy  _ man-babies. That makes it a twenty four/seven job. There's the crying about contracts, baby drama, momma drama, baby momma drama, stupid girlfriends, and some idiot locking himself out of a house he won't be able to afford when I cut him loose next season.”

Zero quirks an eyebrow. “You reckon you'll still be here next season?”

Jelena cocks her head to one side and narrows her eyes. “I don't reckon anything. I  _ know.  _ I'm only here right now because I took pity on you. The fact that you'd call me over one of the guys speaks volumes about your ego and I know how precious it is to you. However, don't mistake my kindness for weakness, Zero.”

Zero grins wryly and holds his hands up in apology, “Hey, it was just a question.”

Jelena’s answer is the sound of her car speeding away. 

~

By the time, Zero makes it home, Jude's car is in the driveway and the lights are on. After his weird interaction with Jelena and the game, all he wants to do is take another shower and sleep. That notion dies when he finds Jude pacing in the front hallway. It's a familiar sight, a downside of the fact that Jude has a mind that's always going a million miles an hour, circling around and around, desperately hunting new things to panic about. 

Zero's always been the kind of guy that hates nervous energy. Sure, nobody likes it, but he doesn't react well to it at all. He's always the person telling people to calm down or get the fuck away from him. It's a trait born out of a chaotic life. Nervous energy is what blurs the edges of the memories of his mom abandoning him, his separation with his sister and every time someone told him he'd never amount to anything. 

He does what he's always done best and he deflects. 

“Would you believe that Jelena changed my tire for me? Apparently, the last thing I need to do is bust open my arm in the middle of the season.” He laughs heartily for a good measure, but it sounds forced even to his own ears. 

Jude stops long enough to level him with a steely glare. 

“ _ Don't _ .” 

It's one simple word, but Zero's been doing this long enough to know when to read between the lines. 

“Don't what?” he asks while shrugging off his jacket. He tossed it onto the mahogany table that's off to the side, situated under some watercolour print that Jude swears is real art. He leans against the table for good measure, because he'd rather they just have this confrontation here where an escape is a few paces away. 

“Don't act like we've barely spoken to each other for a week,” Jude answers with an abortive hand gesture that falters after  _ week.   _

_ “ _ I'm not acting like anything,” Zero says, unable to break himself out of the shell he's built around himself since the initial argument. 

“Really? You're just going to pretend that everything's fine?” Jude says, shaking his head with disbelief. 

Zero eyes Jude carefully for a moment before half-shrugging. “Look, I'm tired, okay? So, you can stay or go, your choice. I'm going to sleep.” 

He grabs his jacket and heads towards the staircase before Jude can day another word. 

~

By the time Zero stumbles into the kitchen the next morning, Jude's sitting at the breakfast bar with his phone in his hand. He's still wearing the same grey suit he was in when he came back and Zero wonders how long Jude's been sitting here. 

_ Probably too long _ , he muses to himself. 

Jude sets down his phone when he catches sight of Zero, smiling stiffly in lieu of saying anything. Zero heads straight to the coffee maker. If they're going to have yet another loaded conversation, he's going to need caffeine. And possibly a fifth of whiskey, but he'll wait until midday at least. He grabs a bottled water from the fridge instead, even as his freshly poured coffee stares back at him. He's wasting time, trying to draw out the silence for as long as possible even though he knows that there's no getting away from it. 

“I'm sorry for what I said yesterday,” Jude says once Zero turns back around to face him. 

“You really didn't say much,” Zero says bluntly. He understands that Jude was angry with him, but their terse conversation still leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. “Just forget about it. All of it. We had an argument. It happens. The end.”

Jude sighs, looks up at him cautiously and has the nerve to ask. “Why are you being like this?”

Zero decides to play dumb. “Like what?”

Jude frowns, his face scrunched up as if he's searching for words. 

“All closed off and weird, I mean, you're acting like you're good and everything is fine but you're pissed at me. It's obvious.”

For someone who's so bright, Jude can be incredibly dull at times. Zero's not going to make this conversation easy on him, not after everything that's happened over the past few days. 

“Is it really?” he remarks sarcastically.

Jude shifts and crosses his arms across his chest, giving him an odd looking stance. 

“Now, you're just doing it on purpose.”

Zero’s fight leaves him much like the air left his tire. “I don't know what you want from me, Jude.”

Jude drops his arms abruptly and take a step forward. “Just admit that you're angry. With me.”

“I’m not,” Zero insists dryly. “I skipped out on an important meeting, I didn't call. You were rightly upset, you took time to be upset and now you're back. Unless you're going again, which is cool. Take as much time as you need.”

In the moment after he speaks, he realises that he may as well have a flashing sign on his forehead that reads: passive aggressive. It's not until then that he  _ finally _ admits to himself that yes, he's fucking angry. Not just because Jude left or overreacted to him not calling, but because he thinks that Zero would be selfish enough to jeopardise his career. Considering that Zero's had Jude's back all the way, it's a bitter pill to swallow. 

“Gideon…” 

Jude trails off but if anything Zero hears what he isn't saying loud and clear. 

_ Be real. Be yourself.  _

Despite his acerbic nature, Zero's not big on conflict. He won't shy away from it, but he doesn't sprint towards it either. He considers the many arguments and disputes he's witnessed in life, from his foster parents to his foster siblings, to his college basketball teammates, to his professional teammates, to whoever fucking else. That's a lot of arguments, but one more isn't going to break him. 

It's not going to break  _ them.  _

“Fine, I  _ am _ angry,” he admits, as he leans back against the counter. “With you. With myself. With a lot of things. Where do you want to start?”

Jude's shoulders sink slowly, like Zero's admission is a literal weight on his shoulders. 

“Okay, well, I know why I'm angry with you,” Jude begins hesitantly when he meets Zero's eye. “Why are you mad at me?”

Zero snorts and shakes his head bitterly. “You  _ left _ .”

The word hangs in the air and Zero sees the moment Jude gets it, his eyes widening with equal parts horror and realisation. Despite that, Zero knows there's going to be denial. There always is at first. People are usually quick to act badly, but slow to acknowledge any wrongdoing. 

In this instance, Jude is no different. He’s blinking rapidly, and tripping over his words as he says, “I didn't  _ leave  _ I just needed a break. We had that argument and...we  _ both _ needed space.” 

The words sound hollow even to Zero. Judging by the expression on Jude's face, he knows his excuse has fallen flat. 

A clock chimes in the background and Zero wonders what time it is. 

It already feels like they've been here for a lifetime. 

“You left,” Zero repeats plainly. “Again. And fair enough, the first few times were my fault but this time…this time we could have worked it out.”

Zero's not the kind of person that gives other people  _ multiple  _ chances to walk away from him. 

Jude's always been the exception, but it doesn't hurt any less. 

Zero will never admit out loud, but he's well aware that he has abandonment issues. What kid who was left by their parents wouldn't? He's always assumed that Jude understood but sometimes he forgets that for all of their similarities, they're two worlds apart. 

Jude looks down at the tiled floor in silence and Zero waits, staring at dark brown hair until the other man finally looks up again. 

Their eyes lock and there's a palpable ripple of tension in the air. 

“I didn't even think…” Jude starts before he trails off. After a brief lapse, Jude meets his eyes again. There's a myriad of emotions in his gaze, but Zero can't pick out one to hold on to. 

“I would never leave. Not like that.” Jude's tone is finally assured and unwavering, but Zero's never been one to back down after a statement. 

Especially one that isn't true. 

It's not even that Jude left at this point, it's that he won't admit it so that he -  _ they  _ \- can move on.

“I'll be sure to remember that,” Zero snaps angrily. “Oh, wait. You literally just got back from leaving.”

Jude's frustrated sigh is audible and part of Zero actually feels for him, the part that would instinctively go to battle for Jude if anyone tried to mess with him. However, he can't back down, not if they're going to move on from thist. Jude's the person who taught him that tough conversations need to be had sometimes. No matter how infuriatingly difficult they are. 

“I'm sorry, alright, I didn't - it wasn't like that. You said we needed space and I thought it was a good idea. That's it, I swear. I wanted to come back five minutes after I left but I needed time to cool off. We both did...at least I think so...” 

Jude sounds unsure, but Zero can tell that his words are sincere. He's giving Jude a tough time, but deep down he knows that Jude didn't mean to hurt him. It just doesn't take away from the fact that he thought they were  _ done _ . 

That Jude was done with him. 

That he's spent a good portion of the last few days feeling like someone's kicked him in the chest. 

“Why are you back?” Zero asks, only realising that Jude just re-emerged without announcing why. 

Jude looks away from him briefly, and starts to chew at his bottom lip nervously “Does it matter?”

“Kinda. I called you multiple times last night. I even called  _ Lionel _ . And that's cool, maybe you were busy, but you didn't come over just because I called you and you didn't pick up.”

Jude runs a hand through his dark hair and blows out a breath. He looks up and guilt shines in his eyes. 

“Jelena. After she helped you, she called me and told me to get my head out of my ass. The fact that you called her at all was when I realised how ridiculous this whole argument is. You should be able to come to me, no matter what.

“I know that you're a professional and you probably had a good reason for blowing off that dinner. And I also know that you're human, you're flawed like everyone else and you're not always going to match the picture that I have in my head. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I guess I've blurred the lines between boyfriend and boss too many times. Your career is your career, not mine. I need to respect that and run things by you before I try to help.”

Jude’s right but Zero is aware that the lines are  _ always  _ going to be blurred; they've been through too many different dynamics for them to be straight (no pun intended). 

Zero shakes his head and sighs gently. “I'm not entirely blameless. I get that you're just trying to help me. You're still in agent mode sometimes, and I'm grateful that you're looking out for me...I guess I'm just not dealing with the added pressure of being captain as well as I thought I would.”

That's the main reason why they're here, he isn't the big superstar he thought he would be. 

At least not yet. 

Jude snorts. “It's kind of hard when everyone's quick to throw your past at you whenever you have a rough game. Terrence was squeaky clean compared to you, even with the news that leaked about that drug test he supposedly failed. He's a tough act to follow. He was at the heart of the team for years and you're  _ still _ the guy who came in and stirred shit up. People are always going to be wary.”

Jude sounds genuinely remorseful, as if he thinks Zero struggling to get a serious foothold into the team _his_ axe to bear. Zero thinks back to what Jelena was saying the previous night, about lobbying for Terrence. That's not what he wants for them, especially if they're going to make it, because _that's_ what he wants, more than anything else. 

Basketball isn't forever but...Jude might be. 

Zero doesn't want to risk that. 

“Yeah, you don't say,” Zero adds after the silence has hung in the air for too long. “But what if I'm not hell-bent on the million dollar contracts, and the game anymore. I mean, that part is pretty awesome, but it's superfluous at the same time. What if I've found something that gives my life more... _ meaning  _ than basketball ever could?”

Jude's brow furrows in a way that Zero will never admit to finding adorable. “You mean your sister?”

Zero's had tentative contact with his sister so far; she's reluctant about letting him into her life and he's trying to come to terms with that. 

This isn't about her, though, it's about  _ them _ . 

“No, I mean  _ you _ , stupid,” Zero remarks gently. “You've changed me. For the better.”

His edges aren't as rough as they used to be, and he's not the smug schemer he was when he first got here. He's not  _ perfect  _ or Mr Nice Guy, but he's not stirring things up for the sake of it anymore. One could argue that he doesn't need to now that he's Captain and the face of the team, but it's more than that. 

It's about knowing that what he does has consequences, knowing that it's not just him in this team. 

“I...I don't know what to say,” Jude replies. “I don't think I've ever changed anyone before.” 

The earnest way he says the words makes Zero fall for him just that bit more. It's hard to get caught up in the glitz, fame and money when the person that matters to you the most sees you for who you really are. 

Broken, fallible and messed up, yet still worthy of their time and affection. 

“Now you have,” Zero says with a small smile. There's so much more that he wants to say but he wouldn't know how even if he tried so he leaves it at that. 

“You've changed me too,” Jude adds. “After everything with Oscar and Lionel, the only person that I know that truly has my back is you and...I hope you know that I didn't mean what I said. I know that you've got my back the same way I have yours.”

“I know,” Zero confirms quickly; he's ready to be done with the conversation, all of the tension is starting to take its toll on him and bleed into his stiff muscles. “So, we're good? You're staying?”

Jude eyes him carefully before he answers. “Yeah, I am. Lionel is a terrible host. She made me watch  _ The Bachelor _ . Repeatedly.”

Zero laughs as he pushes off from the counter and takes a few steps forward. 

“You're not a fan of rose wielding douchebags?”

Jude rolls his eyes as he extracts himself from the stool in front of the breakfast bar. “Absolutely not. Plus, I think Lionel subjected me to it on purpose. She was on your side, you know. When I told her what we argued about.”

Zero gives Jude a look of disbelief.“Somehow, I doubt that. When I called her, she hung up on me. She can't stand me.”

The look on Jude's face is priceless, but they both know that there's no love lost between him and Lionel. 

Jude clears his throat uncomfortably, “I don't know about that, but she was with Pete when he was captain, or something like it, and she helped me understand a few things. She told me that I should quit acting like a...You know what, that's not important. What's important is that unlike Pete, you're not out there partying, doing drugs, drinking excessively. That reflects better on you than any amount of schmoozing would.”

Zero wrinkles his nose; apart from the Playground, he can't remember the last time he actually went out. Jude's not really a club and dance kind of guy and he's been lying low and trying to cultivate a new image. However, just because he can't afford any bad press doesn't mean that he has to live like a  _ monk _ . 

“That makes me sound fucking  _ boring _ ,” he complains, because it really does. “Hey, maybe we should throw a party? We never did have that housewarming party.”

Mostly because they'd had much more fun christening the house by themselves. 

Jude's eyes widen comically at the suggestion. “I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, the party isn't a terrible idea. But a party here? No.”

“You're no fun.”

“So I've been told,” Jude retorts dryly. “Need I remind you about our last party?”

“Need I remind you that it was _your_ idea. And then I had to convince you that we hadn't pissed anyone off enough for them to dump a body on our building site.”

“I'm well aware of that, thanks,” Jude replies with an eye roll and subtle head shake. 

It feels good to be having an easier conversation, especially after the past half an hour of emotional turmoil; it feels good to be on steadier ground. 

“We can have the party if you want,” Jude adds hastily. “I just don't think it's a good idea right now. I'm crazy busy, and Jelena's been busting my balls as per usual.”

Zero shrugs. “You're the boss.”

The words are flippant on his part, but Jude has a different perspective. 

“That's the problem isn't it? How can this work when I'm in charge of you at work and then when we're here it's…” Jude trails off, his voice fading as if he's run out of things to say. 

“You can be in charge of me here if you like….” Zero says. He doesn't really want to get into another deep conversation. 

“Can we be serious for a second?” Jude asks. “I don't want us to fight each time we disagree over something. And I don't want our personal lives to bleed into Devils’ business.”

Zero ponders what Jude's saying carefully before replying with: “It's like I said, when I'm here,  _ I'm  _ off the clock. The same should apply to you. Especially you. It's getting harder and harder to resist drawing a permanent marker moustache on you each time you fall asleep with your laptop in front of you.”

He might be joking but he thinks that Jude gets it. 

When they're here, at the home that they've built together, it's just  _ them  _ and no one else can touch them. They need to do their best to preserve that, make sure that they don't end up broken. 

Jude glares at Zero, but doesn't say anything past, “You wouldn't dare.”

“One day,” Zero teases him. “You’ll see.”

Zero's phone buzzes on the countertop before Jude can respond. It's from Pete, details about a team meeting they're supposed to have in few hours. He groans to himself and downs half of the water in the bottle he'd forgotten about. 

“Team meeting at eleven,” he says when Jude throws him a questioning look. “I'm going to head to bed, see if I can grab some more shuteye.”

Jude nods. “I'll be up soon.”

It's suddenly weird because Jude's been  _ gone  _ and now he's back, but Zero's not sure how to broach the physical side of things. After a few minutes of consideration, he thinks  _ fuck it.  _ There's no point creating a problem where there isn't one.

He rounds the corner past the kitchen island and stops in front of Jude, who eyes him curiously. He doesn't speak, just presses a chaste kiss on Jude's mouth, before leaning in for a second kiss. It's starts off as simple as the first, but Jude doesn't let him go when he attempts to pull back. Their lips lock tightly and they kiss like they're starved of air, fervently and bruising. It's  _ I'm sorry, I've missed you _ and  _ I love you _ all rolled into one.

Eventually, Zero pulls back because as much as he'd like to continue this, he's going to go crazy if he doesn't get some more sleep. 

“We'll finish this later,” he says, with a breathy laugh when Jude manages to initiate one more brief kiss. 

~

Zero's day is taken up by the meeting and strangely tense interview with a journalist that's probably going to need a career change soon. 

Shortly after that, he bumps into Jelena who's lurking in the dugout area of the arena, watching the Devil Girls practice their routine for a charity event the team is throwing in a few days. That Jelena is keeping an eye on them is unsurprising. Zero's surprised that she's not out there screaming orders at the dancers herself. 

For all of his talk of being on top, he's not sure if he'd even  _ want  _ to work so close to basketball when he eventually retires. Being so close to what he once had would frustrate him, and he doesn't want to end up like Coach Davenport or Chase Vincent, forever running after his lost youth or desperately trying to prove that there's more to them than meets the eye. That washed up ballers aren't still in the game for the publicity side of things.  

“Do you miss it?” he asks, inadvertently startling Jelena who does her best to disguise the way she jumps. She turns slowly and all but rolls her green eyes when she sees him standing there. 

“Miss what?” she asks, taking great care to level him with her trademark cold-eyed stare. 

Zero gestures towards where the dancers are practising. “That. Dancing.”

Considering her somewhat tyrannical control over the team before she became team owner, it's obvious what the answer is. Still, he's curious to see if she'll admit to it. 

“You can't miss what you can't have,” she says icily. “Thanks to the moron that shot me, I couldn't dance even if I wanted to.”

From the outside, it doesn't look as though she's too bothered by that, but Zero was around her long enough to know that losing control of  _ anything  _ screws her up and makes her twice as ferocious. 

He's tempted to offer some kind of apology, but he doesn't feel sorry for her. They might have formed some sort of truce, but there's still no love lost between them. 

“That's a shame,” is what he settles on. 

Jelena offers him a nonchalant shrug. “What was it you once said to me? Timing is everything. This way I get to give the team my undivided attention.”

Zero chuckles dryly just as the music from the rehearsal increases a notch. 

Jelena rolls her eyes and turns to leave, with Zero trailing after her. 

“I expect to see some improvement in your performance by the next game or there'll be consequences,” she calls, her heels clicking as she moves down the hallway. 

Zero can't help the way laugher spills from his mouth, “What are you going to do, bench me?” 

“Don't tempt me,” she warns him before she turns a corner and vanishes from sight.

~

Zero stops by the gym to get in a quick workout session, before heading over to his management company, pausing briefly in between to get a cappuccino. The conversation he had with Jude last night plays on a constant loop in his mind, like a highlights reel that he can't switch off. 

It was their first major argument in recent times and while he knows that Jude meant nothing by it, it's the leaving that he can't quite get over. The silence that he can't forget. That feeling of isolation he felt gnaws away at him until he finally caves and decides that he needs to say  _ something _ . 

He ducks out of his meeting and paces around in the brightly lit lobby until he works up the energy to call Jude. He doesn't know why it can't wait, just that he needs some reassurance. 

“Hey,” Jude sounds breathless when he answers the phone. There's some muffled noise in the background that Zero can't make out. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. I'm just leaving the office now, figured I've been here long enough.”

Zero glances at his watch and frowns when he sees how early it is. Jude usually doesn't leave before eight, and most days getting him out of the office by ten is like drawing blood from a stone. Impossible.

“It's after six,” Zero points out just in case Jude's unaware. 

“You're going to be at the house later, right?” Jude asks. There's a strange note in his voice but Zero can't make out what it is. 

“Yeah, of course….” he trails off awkwardly, because where else is he going to be? 

“Just checking,” Jude says quickly. There's an uncomfortable silence between them and Zero finds that he doesn't really want to continue their argument at all.

His insecurities are his own, and he's going to work through them before they mess everything up. 

“What do you want to do for dinner?” Zero asks in an attempt to abate the weirdness. 

“We'll figure it out when you get home,” Jude answers softly. “I'm not going anywhere.”

_ Home.  _

_ I'm not going anywhere.  _

That's good enough for Zero.

“I love you,” he says simply, 

“I love you too, Gideon,” Jude intones. “See you soon.”

Zero grins to himself before heading over towards the parking lot. 

~

Two things are off when Zero gets back to the house. Firstly, there's loud thumping music coming from  _ their _ house. Jude is more of an earbuds and iPod kind of guy, so it's strange. Secondly, there are several cars in the driveway. If he didn't know any better, he'd think that there's a party happening. He has to park about a block away, and he's walking back when he sees Jude waiting just outside the gate that leads to their walkway. 

“Surprise,” he says with a slightly overwhelmed smile. “Remind me never to ask Lionel to plan a party again. Apparently keeping it simple isn't in her vocabulary.”

Zero huffs out a laugh. “Party, huh? What brought this on? You were adamant that you didn't want to have one before. At least not here.” 

“You're the captain of the team,” Jude points out. “This is what you should do. Throw parties. Get the team together. I'm not going to get in the way of that.”

Zero eyes Jude carefully because there's obviously more to it than that. This is probably to do with the conflict that they're slowly making their way out of. 

“What's the  _ real  _ reason?” he asks. There's a slight pause in the conversation when a couple of the Devil girls pull up and greet them loudly before making their way down the walkway, a cloud of perfume lingering in the air as they retreat. 

“I'm loving this party already,” he says, winking lewdly just to rile Jude up a little. 

Jude rolls his eyes, but he doesn't seem upset. If anything, he's probably contemplating an answer to Zero's question. With Jude, everything takes time and nothing is ever spontaneous, at least not when it comes to the hard stuff. 

“The real reason is that I'm still learning how to compromise, and a party isn't going to harm anybody,” Jude says, picking up from where Zero left off before the interruption. “And it's a good way for me to close this deal I've been trying to. Apparently this guy's much easier to deal with when he's had a few drinks.”

Zero shakes his head fondly. He's not surprised that Jude's found some kind of work angle for this party, and maybe it should bother him, but it doesn't. 

“If your compromise is throwing this party, then what's mine?” Zero asks. 

“I need you to trust me,” Jude says simply. “To trust that I'm being sincere when I say that I'm not going anywhere.”

Zero takes his time to answer because he has to make sure he remains composed. Technically, that's not really a compromise, and neither is the party. It's Jude's way of apologising and Zero gets that. Nothing is ever going to be black and white with them, not when they're two broken parts of a messed up whole. 

Still, if there's one thing that binds them together, it's trust. It always has been, and hopefully always will be. They might argue, or doubt each other from time to time, but that doesn't make their foundation any weaker. 

“I can do that,” Zero tells him. 

Jude grins bashfully, his eyes crinkling softly. 

Zero claps his hands together, “C’mon, we have a party to get to. Let's go dance!”

Jude's eyes widen with something akin to panic and Zero does his best not to laugh. 

“I don't dance,” he says as matter of factly. “If you ever see me dancing, know that I'm not in my right mind.”

Zero chuckles at that and grabs Jude's hand, tugging him along with him as they finally make their way down the walkway, their shoes crunching against the pebbles as they stumble towards the edge. Jude swats him playfully, and they share a look that goes from amused to suggestive in two seconds flat. 

Suddenly, Zero's less interested in dragging Jude onto the dancefloor and completely enticed at the prospect of bypassing the party altogether in favour of their bedroom. 

“You know, I'm sure our guests wouldn't mind if we were a little bit late coming back in…”

Jude snorts and extracts his hand delicately. “As much as I'd love to take you up on that offer, Lionel would kill me.”

“Later then,” he says, just as they reach the door. Music streams through, loud and interspersed with the chatter of their guests. 

“Later,” Jude replies when they meet each other's eyes. 

It sounds like a promise, but it's more than that. 

It's a sure thing. 

  
Fin. 


End file.
